More From Screenwriter Seth Grahame-Smith on Dark Shadows

Comparing the DS movie to Star Trek 2009 is a very apt comparison. In both cases, the film severely polarised its fans before it came out. That polarisation continues to this day as the sequel is being made. I’m a fan of both series and found that against all hope to the contrary Star Trek 2009 was the sort of mash up I would have expected from Grahame-Smith. After all of the billing as NOT being “your father’s Star Trek” (given how old I am they mean people like me) and how “cool and original” it was going to be, the actual movie went to the two most tired wells of “my father’s Star Trek”–time travel and the revenge seeking villain. Nimoy gets reduced to playing the role of Basil Exposition, the whole thing ends up being Star Wars meets the Wrath of Khan meets Star Trek Nemesis. It was painful to watch. Even if I had never seen Star Trek before this, the story was more a collection of “isn’t this really cool?” set pieces than a story. I won’t be going to see the sequel.

Like Dark Shadows, in Abrams Trek there was more than a fair amount of supposedly paying homage to the original while finding ways to denigrate it before the film came out. Both movies were “made for everyone, not the fans” The so called “Easter eggs” spread throughout the movie were mostly insulting attempts at throwing middle aged fans like me some hush puppies. But, having said all of that, I had to go to the theater and see it once to know for sure what kind of movie it really was. Out of all the trailers for ST 2009, there was only one trailer that might have resembled the Star Trek I knew, the rest were dumb action movie trailers. That one lone trailer got me into the theater but it turned out that all the dumb action flick trailers were the accurate ones.

I’ve now seen four different Dark Shadows trailers. Each one of them barely give acknowledgement to the original serious nature of the TV show before launching headfirst into the yuk’em up comedy bits. I also just got my copy of Return to Collinwood, and my feeling is that when the original actors who appeared in the “Cameo” are going to be pretty upset when they see the finished product. Lara Parker alluded to “attempts at sly farce” in her chapter of the book and she didn’t come right out and say but I felt between the lines she wasn’t thrilled. I could also be wrong about that, I admit.

There have been movies over the years that have had fantastic trailers that were bad in reality and bad trailers for great films. I keep hoping that somehow there is a serious Dark Shadows movie with bits of humour and not the comedy the trailers are heavily pushing, but after the fourth trailer, I don’t think so anymore. The website for the film lists it as a Gothic comedy. I don’t want a Gothic comedy, I want a beautiful retelling of the core original story that shows everyone why all of the subsequent vampires in both TV and film owe Barnabas Collins a huge debt.

But, I won’t know for sure until I go and see it for myself. Instead of the excitement I originally felt, I now feel like someone who has heard a loved one has cancer but doesn’t know for sure until one has gone to the hospital to find out. Hope I’m wrong and it’s a great film, but my doubts are mounting.

Rob, I respectfully disagree with your take on the new Star Trek. I didn’t see a movie that lovingly reworked the original. I saw a dumbed down version that slapped the original in the face. The relationship between Spock and Uhura, the transwarp beam in scene in the brewery that passed for engineering, the horrible exaggeration of Chekov’s accent etc, etc. felt to me that Star Trek had suffered the treatment you fear for Dark Shadows. I’m not the only person who saw it and felt that way, but a lot of people also disagreed about the movie and liked it very much. It perfectly illustrates how the same thing is playing out with Dark Shadows.

My open minded optimism admittedly is not without its doubts and fears. The latest trailer makes those doubts harder to fight but I keep trying. I keep hoping that the movie is better than its trailers. I’m hoping for a movie along the lines of The Woman in Black, done beautifully old school but fear Love At First Bite. I want to be wrong and it’s actually good. Won’t know until I go see it. If it’s bad, there will be no repeat viewings at the theater or DVD purchases. It’s got one chance and no more. Only saw Star Trek 2009 once in the theater. That was the first time I did not go back to see a Star Trek movie again in the theater. Even the weaker movies of the original casts got at least a second look.

Greetings fellow lovers of Dark Shadows. I share the pain and frustration all of you have voiced so eloquently. Born in 1957, I’m an original fan of the original series. My friends and I all rushed home from school, abruptly suspended play, got chores and home workout of the way early, (cried literally when one of LBJ’s press conferences preempted the show) all to watch our beloved Dark Shadows.
I am not disappointed in this film, merely shocked. Long ago in its development I realized that this is exactly what the film with Burton and Depp,( whom I have never cared for and never will), would be. We have all been spoofed: From the vulgar Scooby-Doo cartoon Collinwood, to the Nosferatu fingernails of Depp’s revolting depiction of Barnabas, the Adam’s Family hideous decor and raiment, the schlocky Musnters music, bad Elvira Mistress of the Dark dialogue and outrageous Rocky Horror “art direction” – which is only suited to be viewed by the blind, and finally to the total elimination of everything wonderful about Dark Shadows except the names!

The real “horror’ will manifest itself only when and if this abomination proves successful at the box office. Here’s hoping it bombs big time!!!!